The Holy Grail…aka, Coconut Oil



Bold statement, I know.  I have the secret to amazingly supple, clear skin, strong hair and nails, all natural anti-bacterial ointment, cooking oil, shaving cream, body lotion, face wash and more.  I sh!t you not when I say this stuff can do ANYTHING.

I used to be a product whore.  My bathroom was stocked with tons of half filled (note the optimist in me with the half full) but mostly practically all the way filled bottles of shampoo, lotions, face creams and cleansers.  I’d see a commercial and be like, well I have to have that, it’s going to make my hair look so gorgeous!  And sometimes it did.  But then came the inevitable day when you get out of the shower and there’s no more silky flowing hair.  Back to the dull lifeless mane hanging off my skull.  Well that was amazing while it lasted but here I am, waiting for the next commercial that will promise me that luxurious hair that cascades and flows across the TV screen just like the model’s does.  I want to tie my hair in a knot!  Well, ladies, (and gentleman too) here it is, behold the miracle that is COCONUT OIL!

I have replaced almost every beauty product I had with coconut oil.  To kick off the millions of things I use it for…hair. I use it as a scalp and hair conditioner once a week.  Before you get in the shower take small amounts at a time and massage into your scalp.  It feels amazing.  Follow through the length of your hair.  Wait a few minutes (or longer if you want) before getting in the shower.  Follow up immediately after washing out with your regular shampoo and conditioner.  You may even feel you don’t need conditioner anymore.  It took me some trial and error to figure out how much to use and how much to wash after so I wasn’t left with any oily spots.  If you get out of the shower and realize its still a bit too oily, fear not.  Hop back in and give it another wash-a-roo.  Don’t whine about it- it’s no biggie, you’re about to have your mind blown so just deal.  If the idea of this scares the sh!t out of you then just try doing your ends. Lean in doll face.  You’ll get there.

Want to know what’s even more crazy than slopping oil on your hair?  Slopping oil on your FACE.  WHAT????  Right now your like, ok, no way.  This bitch is nuts if she thinks I’m gonna clog up my pores with straight up oil.  I thought the same thing.  Then I decided to be a little daring one day and just went for it.  WOW! Unbelievable.  You know when you wash your face with typical cleanser and it ends up really dry and you feel like you must look like Joan Rivers with your face all tight and awful feeling?  Then you just pile on some really expensive moisturizer right?  WRONG.  Coconut oil.  Only oil can dissolve oil.  I know right?  I was as surprised as you are.  The coconut oil (and many other oils which I will talk about in another post) can actually dissolve those little oil pluggy black head things you see on your face.  This method of using oil on your skin is called The Oil Cleansing Method.  Learn about it here.  I noticed a difference in my skin immediately.  No tightness.  Amazing.  After about a week of using coconut oil as a cleanser my skin was so even.  No more dry patches on my cheeks and oily patches on my forehead.  I mean, how does that even happen anyway?

The best way to wash your face with coconut oil is to take about a dime size amount of oil and spread on your skin.  Massage it in your skin for a minute.  Enjoy the tropical smell, it’s delightful.  Then turn on your hot water and wet and wring out a wash cloth.  Lay the hot washcloth over your face for a minute and feel the magic infuse your pores.  Use the washcloth to wipe away excess in a downward motion then look at your gorgeous mug in the mirror.  Your skin will glow.  After a few minutes if I feel any dry spots I put a little extra oil on them in place of moisturizer.  Eventually you most likely won’t have to anymore once your skin adjusts. That dewey supple JLo complexion you’ve been dreaming about??  Well it’s yours now.  You’re welcome.

Eye makeup remover.  You thought I was gonna stop at oil cleansing method?  Oh no.  Try it.

Want stronger nails?  Boom.

Do your legs get all scaly and gross after shaving.  Coconut oil as shaving cream.  Use it.

Deodorant, mouthwash, toothpaste, anti-fungal cream…the list goes on and on.  Check out some more uses here.

I was skeptical too.  Especially when you see it for the first time.  It’s got a waxy consistency at room temp.  I was like, “well what the hell is this sh!t?” It’s effing magic ok, trust.  As soon as it touches your skin it melts.  A little goes a long way.  I slather it all over my body after a shower.  I haven’t bought chemical filled lotion in years and my skin thanks me.  No more weird dry patches that would show up in random spots.  No more dry elbows or heels.  Fingernails and toe nails strong like bull.

So where do you get this jar of ecstasy you ask?  Probably your local large grocery store.  If not there then Whole Foods or any health food store.  But before you abandon my words here and run to the nearest natural foods section there’s a few things you must know.  First, it must, and I mean MUST be UNREFINED.  There will most likely be both refined and unrefined oil right next to each other.  Refined oil has been bleached and chemically treated.  Plus the heavenly coconut smell is removed.  Who would do such a thing??   Any greensypants would say no to that crazy talk.  Second, look for the words “COLD PRESSED” on the jar.  That means no heat was used to extract the oil.  Heat can damage the nutrients and other little goodies in the oil. There are several different brands but I’ve seen no differences.  I just get whatever is least expensive and has the two criteria listed above.  This is the one I happen to have now…

DSC_4668Notice the yellow detail I so kindly added for your informational pleasure.  You can also order it here. It will cost you anywhere from $7 to $12 dollars for a 14oz jar.  If that seems like a lot don’t forget a little goes a long way.  Even when I put it on my whole body I don’t use more than a tablespoon so settle down.  You probably spend more on your tiny jar of age defying chemical garbage eye cream (yeah it fights wrinkles too). What’s more?  Yup there’s actually MORE!  You can cook with it and eat it!  Yup you read that right.  Talk about glowing from within!  Check out Oil-licious!

Stay tuned my little green seekers.  Much more to come on this topic and many others!  Get your greensypants on!

Reply Below or email me at if you have any green questions you want answered!  Don’t forget to click follow on twitter so you know when there’s new greensypants info to soak in!




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